


Philosophy and Crushes

by kpark



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Everyone Is Dating, M/M, Multi, feitan/chrollo isnt discussed in this fic but i believe in it, sorry its so short. thats life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-07
Updated: 2017-09-07
Packaged: 2018-12-24 21:19:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12021204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kpark/pseuds/kpark
Summary: Phinks suffers from lovestruck blunders, but Feitan's always there to help (at a price).





	Philosophy and Crushes

**Author's Note:**

> I continue to be uncreative with titles. I was gonna wait to post this, but I wanted to for Chrollo day! Happy Chrollo day.
> 
> I realized once I was finished with this that I made Phinks seem completely incompetent in this fic--in reality, I think Phinks is very smart, just not with the subjects that are the focus here. Love you, Phinks.

“Fei, you gotta help me.” 

The desperation with which Phinks pants the phrase, bursting through the door and slamming it behind him, shocks Feitan into alertness immediately. They drop their book, standing up from their seat. “What is it?”

“I…” Phinks nervously runs his hand through his hair, pushing back a few loose strands. “I told Boss I read Nietzsche.”

“You _what?_ ” Feitan hisses. Only Phinks would barge into their room like this over such a stupid thing. Except maybe Shalnark, but at least Shalnark does it less often.

“I, he was trying to make conversation! And he brought it up, and,” Phinks crosses his arms and stares at the ground. “All I know about Nietzsche is they’re an author. And probably deep and complex if Boss reads it.”

“Phinks. You can not read.”

“Thanks for the memo!” Phinks looks so pathetic, Feitan can’t help but snicker. Phinks groans and throws his head back. “Please, Fei.”

“I do not read philosophizing. It is not relevant to me.”

“But you know what it is, right? Could you read some to me? I’ll do anything you want, dude.”

Reading old philosophy to their partner is close to one of the last things Feitan wants to do, but the last part catches Feitan’s attention. A small smile appears on their lips. “Anything?”

Phinks realizes his mistake a second too late. “Well… You can’t kill me. Or take any of my limbs. Or permanently injure me in any way.”

“Hm.”

“That includes psychological injuries.”

“No fun.” Feitan laments, but the lack of outright rejection lets Phinks know it’s a deal. Phinks looks intently at Feitan, and Feitan finally sighs and says, “Fine. But you find the books.”

“Aah, Fei, you’re the best.” Phinks approaches Feitan with a look of elation and outstretched arms, and Feitan glares daggers, coldly standing their ground.

“Touch me and ‘anything’ begins now.”

###### 

“Understand?” Feitan raises their eyes over the top of the book to glance at Phinks, sitting on the other end of the bed. Most people would be taking notes listening to the kind of lecture Feitan has been giving, or at least attempting to give, but Phinks can’t exactly do that.

“Uh… Sorta, yeah.” 

“Which is the part you do not understand?”

“I don’t know.”

Feitan rubs the bridge of their nose. Phinks isn’t lying when he says he doesn’t know, and that’s the frustrating part. They’ve taught each other things before, though, and Feitan knows this is just an inevitable part of the process. For that reason, Feitan wouldn’t expect Phinks to actually be stressed or uncomfortable. Yet here he is, rubbing his hands together and glaring down at them with a furrowed brow, looking for all the world as if he has an awful stomach ache.

“Phinks.”

“What?” He looks up. 

“Stop.”

Phinks inhales deeply and falls forward from his sitting position, burying his face in the pillow at Feitan’s side, then exhales with a rumbling groan.

“Why are you very anxious?”

Phinks responds only with another groan. Feitan thinks, staring at the back of Phinks’ head. 

“You are embarrassed.”

A third groan, but this time in a thinner, higher pitch. Feitan is almost surprised that they hit it on the mark so quickly. That surprise and the context of it prompts Feitan to giggle. “You are very girly sometimes Phinks.”

“Shut up!” Phinks retorts, voice muffled by the pillow. “Nothin’ girly about being embarrassed, it’s just--” 

“Just what?”

“It’s just-- the Boss!”

“Oh my god.” Feitan drags a hand down their face, closing the book and setting it down. “I can not teach like this. You have a crush.”

“I don’t know, dude!”

Feitan reaches over and mercilessly ruffles Phinks’ hair, mussing it until the gelled strands stick out all in odd, crooked directions.

“Sto-o-op!” Phinks bats at Feitan’s hand, but is helpless to stop the act. 

“You have exterior motives.”

“It’s _ulterior_ motives, and no I don’t!”

“You get in Boss’ pants using philosophy. Creative.”

“If you don’t fucking--” Rather than finishing his sentence, Phinks flips onto his back and grabs Feitan with both his legs and arms at the same time. Feitan tries to jump back, but isn’t quick enough, and is crammed into a headlock, their head pressed uncomfortably against Phinks’ armpit. Feitan attempts to claw their way out, but Phinks’ one hand that isn’t behind Feitan’s neck has grabbed their thin wrists and is holding them tight. Phinks flips them both so he’s now on top, but the change in position causes Phinks’ hold around Feitan’s neck to loosen, and Feitan wrestles their head out. However, that doesn’t change the fact that Phinks is now sitting on Feitan’s chest, and has their hands held above their head. Unlucky.

“Haha…” Phinks laughs darkly, smirking down at Feitan. “Is this something like the ‘anything’ you had in mind?”

“Nothing at all. You do not even have equipment.” Feitan replies stonily, irritated. Phinks has achieved his mission in wiping the smile off Feitan’s face.

Phinks’ brow creases slightly at the mention of ‘equipment’, mostly because he’s aware of just how much equipment Feitan has, and he can’t be sure what it is Feitan wants to use on him. He isn’t sure he wants to know in advance either.

“Now you have a crush on Boss, does this mean you have to give up your crush on me?” 

Phinks isn’t sure what Feitan’s expression is of. Mocking, comedic, but genuinely inquisitive, and with a thin bottom layer of dishonesty. That’s a bit too much to take into account for formulating a proper response, so Phinks just leans down and kisses them.

Finally, they’re quiet. Nothing but soft breathing and soft lips.

Phinks feels a small amount of tension leave Feitan’s wrists, and he can’t help but smile triumphantly into the kiss. 

Phinks’ smile brings Feitan to their senses and they break away from the kiss, shooting a sharp look at Phinks.

“Define nihilism.”

“Uuugh…”

###### 

Phinks doesn’t have to give up his crush on Feitan or Chrollo, because it’s not quite like that. Him and Feitan are partners, for lack of any better word. No matter if it’s romance or friendship or coworkers, they’re partners. There’s a trust between them that goes beyond any singular one of those things, a consistency between them both that they can always depend on. That’s what allows them to leave each other for weeks at a time, and never doubt that they’ll meet again, exactly when they said they would. They’re halves of a whole that function with no problem when apart; it just so happens that they work better when together.

For that reason, Feitan wouldn’t say that they feel jealousy, because that truly isn’t the case. Maybe it’s hesitancy, uncertainty, a sense that their other half may be doing something unsafe. But this fear is easily extinguished by a simple act from Phinks, because trust can be such a simple thing. 

So Feitan busts their ass trying to beat the concept of Übermensch and master-slave morality into Phinks’ thick skull before Boss gets back from his current excursion.

###### 

Chrollo is surprised, to say the least. He’d known Phinks was lying when he’d said he read Nietzsche; It’s not that Phinks is a bad liar, not at all, but Chrollo is much more well-versed in the art. Really, the fib had been endearing, especially combined with the sight of how flustered he was by the time their conversation was over.

But now, Chrollo is endeared in an entirely different way. 

“Where did you learn all of this?” He asks, peering at Phinks with his wide dark eyes.

“I read it…?” Phinks responds. Again, not a bad delivery, but Chrollo knows better.

“Phinks, I don’t mean this in a disrespectful way, but I don’t think you can read.” Chrollo is more than perceptive enough to notice the sideways glances that Phinks gives Feitan every time there’s something to be read, and how Phinks’ eyes never move in a linear pattern when skimming magazines.

Phinks sighs, a barely visible blush dusting his cheeks as he averts his eyes. “Fei helped a bit.”

Chrollo smiles. “It means a lot to me that you would go this far only for a simple conversation topic.”

“It’s a pretty complicated conversation topic, actually.” Now that the gig is up, Phinks doesn’t bother to hide the resigned mental exhaustion in his voice. “Why can’t you just have golf as a hobby or something? Why subject yourself to this?”

Chrollo only chuckles, and Phinks feels somehow overwhelmed by the sound.

“Well, regardless of the topic at hand, I really do enjoy talking with you.”

“Ah,” Phinks makes eye contact with Chrollo, then finds he can’t look away. “Thanks.”

“Speaking of thanks, I should express my gratitude to Feitan. There’s no doubt it’d be just as hard to teach Nietzsche as it is to learn it.”

“Oh, I already took care of that.”

“Hm?”

“I, uh… Well, Fei never really does anything for free, it was on a deal.”

“Feitan doesn’t seem like the type to care for money much,” Chrollo is intrigued. “How are you paying?”

Phinks laughs nervously. “I’ll find out tonight, I guess.”

“Sounds ominous.” Chrollo’s eyes shine with interest. “I wonder…” Chrollo taps his bottom lip and lets his gaze wander to the ceiling before returning to Phinks. 

Phinks looks at Chrollo curiously.

“Feitan, would you be uncomfortable with me watching?” 

Phinks jolts and his eyes dart to the hallway entrance on the right side of the room, where Feitan is visible as a small deviation in the shadows. How long have they been there? Phinks was so caught up in Chrollo he hadn’t even noticed. Chrollo is a truly dangerous distraction.

Feitan slinks into the room looking for all the world like a pleased cat. When Chrollo and Feitan lock eyes, the corners of Feitan’s mouth twitch upwards, and Phinks knows it’s going to be one hell of a night.


End file.
